Over 6,000 entries. The most comprehensive collection of humorous quotations there is – put together by Rosemarie Jarski.
There’s a fine line between fishing and just standing on the shore looking like an idiot Steven Wright * The only way of catching a train I ever discovered is to miss the train before G.K. Chesterton * Definition of a gentleman: someone who knows how to play the bagpipes, but doesn’t Al Cohn * Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren’t Margaret Thatcher * She’s my best friend. She thinks I’m too thin, and I think she’s a natural blonde Carrie Snow * I was so horrified when I read about the effects of smoking that I gave up reading Henny Youngman * The thing women like most in bed is breakfast Robin Williams * A minor operation is one performed on somebody else Victoria Wood * Am I the only one to think that John F. Kennedy was killed by a peanut allergy? Harry Hill * My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met Rodney Dangerfield * Always be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home Phyllis Diller * Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends Woody Allen * I believe that sex is the most beautiful, natural, and wholesome thing that money can buy Steve Martin